"You turned on your electric hair clipper..."
- You're Bald

You're Bald... (Bald-Is-Awesome!) is an abnormality taking the form of a white orb with a symbol on its center, with the upper half of the orb being covered in black, which changes after some events.

Ability Edit

Its ability will trigger when an non-bald employee works with the Abnormality. At the end of the work, a flashing light will appear on the employee's head, making it bald and leaving the containment room afterwards, with You're Bald... changing its appearance and starting to move a bit more. If another non-bald employee enters to its containment room and finish the work, the same effects will repeat, except that You're Bald... will have noticeable pattern at top and all the employees and clerks in the same department will become bald. If third non-bald employee finishes work with You're Bald... it becomes totally white and all employees and clerks in facility will become bald and after that abnormality will return to its first form. At the end of each day, it will go back to its first form.

Bald employees can have high work success and they don't have any other effects beside of the changed appearance.

Origin Edit

You're Bald's origin is not known completely, but is mentioned in its encyclopedia entries that You're Bald appeared in the facility after an employee was sacrificed to Singing Machine, who had an 'amazing dream' where all the people became bald.

(Possibly meaning that You're Bald is that Employee.)

Details Edit

You're Bald has all their InstinctInsightAttachmentRepression preferences at 'Very Low' with non-bald employees but this change to the highest while working with bald employees.

Like all Abnormalities, its energy output is determined by the number of PE Boxes (Positive Enkephalin boxes) at the end of the interaction.

You're Bald's emotional state is divided into 3 sections: Bad MoodBad, Normal MoodNormal, and Good MoodGood. Completing 0-1 E Boxes will cause it to feel Bad MoodDistressed, completing 2-3 will cause it to feel Normal MoodNormal, and 4-6 will make it's mood result Good MoodHappy. Its usual waiting time after a task is around 10 seconds.

Unlockable Information/Upgrades Edit

Basic Information (Cost: EBoxIcon 4 PE Boxes)

Unlocks and shows the name of the Abnormality, subject classification, Risk Level (Risk Zayin ZAYIN), portrait, Damage Type (BlackDamageTypeIcon Black 1 - 2), the amount of EBoxIcon E-Boxes (6) and their emotional state.

Instinct/Insight/Attachment/Repression Work Favor (Cost: EBoxIcon 2 PE Boxes)

Unlocks the percentage level list to the respective work.

Managerial Works 1/2/3 (Cost: EBoxIcon 2 PE Boxes)

  • "Managerial Tips 1"
    • "You've got a You're Bald...Beam, because your hair is still silky."
  • "Managerial Tips 2"
    • "Unless employees with the You're Bald...beam are working on the You're Bald..., all of the other employees' hair will fall out and become bald this month."
  • "Managerial Tips 3"
    • "It's not too late. 30.. 29.. 28..."

Escape Information (Cost: EBoxIcon 4 PE Boxes)

Information if the Abnormality can escape or not: "Non Escaped Object"

Work Level 1 Chance Level 2 Chance Level 3 Chance Level 4 Chance Level 5 Chance
"Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low"
"Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low"
"Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low"
"Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low" "Very Low"

Observation Level Edit

Level 1 (1 Section unlocked): WorkSpeedIcon Speed Rate +5

Level 2 (2 Sections unlocked): WorkSuccessIcon Success Rate +5%

Level 3 (3 Sections unlocked): WorkSpeedIcon Speed Rate +5

Unlocks E.G.O. Gift 'Tough'. It takes appearance as sunglasses and increases MovementSpeedIcon Movement Speed and Attack Speed by 2.

Level 4 (All details unlocked): WorkSuccessIcon Success Rate +5%

Unlocks the Weapon and Suit 'Tough'.

Story Edit

You're Bald... Portrait

You're Bald's encyclopedia portrait

  • "Warning: You have taken baldy-bald mental damage. If this article is read by non-bald individual, they will have privilege of getting bald. If you want to stop this from happening, you must be assigned to work on this abnormality. If you find more than 10 strands of hair on the pillow in the morning, it is recommended to read this article 3 or more times."
  • "Bill: I had an amazing dream today.
    XX : What kind of dream? Did you win a lottery or something?
    Bill : Everyone here was bald! James, you, and everyone else in this facility! And maybe everyone outside of this facility!
    XX : Uh......I think you've been stressed a lot recently. Why don't you take counseling?
    Employee Bill was sacrificed to The Singing Machine that day. Many employees mourned for him. Right after the incident, abnormality Bald-Is-Awesome! has appeared. We all cherish memories of Bald Bill."
  • "If a person is contacted by this abnormality, for 1 hour, they talk or write about how being bald is good, and eventually, they make themselves bald. If you're bald, you can save time because you don't have to wash and dry your hair anymore. If a bald employee is assigned to this abnormality, it will not show any reaction. You don't have to worry about balding if you are bald. On the other hand, if a hairy employee is assigned to this abnormality, they will start shaving their own hair. Bald people can reflect light on their smooth head and blind opponents, isn't it amazing?! This abnormality's final goal is to make every single human being on this earth bald. You don't need light bulbs if there are a lot of bald people because lights reflect on their heads; you can save electricity bill! If hairy employees are not assigned to this abnormality regularly, its mood status will decrease. Do you know that nobles in middle age Europe were all bald? They changed their wig every day!"
  • "And we added some new rules to the company code of behavior.
    EmployeesF**kers who mock their co-workers for being bald will be permanently banned from using lounge, and joining company debated club "Why don't bald Barbies exist?", Gourmet club "Lovely Octopus", and environmental movement club "We are worried about decreasing number of Bald Eagle". The ban will be lifted if the employee's number of hair strand goes below 1.
    In memory of employee T.H, who is taking anti-balding medicine next to me right now."

Flavour Text Edit

  • "Employee <name> starts to feel that hair is just a burden."
  • "Employee <name> starts to think that tattoo on bald head would look really cool."
  • "Employee <name> starts taking off his/her wig because he/she feels proud of partial balding."
  • "Bald people oddly look professional even if they are just doing trivial things!"
  • "And still you have your silky hair?"
  • "Bald people don't have to worry about clogged drain!"
  • "You can look like Bruce Willis if you're bald!"

Trivia Edit

  • You're Bald probably could be a 'Joke' abnormality, due to its release date (April 3) was near April Fools' Day.
  • The letter on You're Bald is '머', which means '대머리', 'bald' written in Korean.

Gallery Edit

Notice About the Article "You're Bald...":
Are you looking for the old version of this page: You're Bald... (Legacy)
"You're Bald..." is using information from the Newest version of the game (v0.1). The information here is from a newer version of the game including the most recent gameplay changes.