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"You turn on your electric hair clipper..."
- You're Bald

You're Bald... (Bald-Is-Awesome!) is an Abnormality taking the form of a white orb with the Korean letter '머'/meo (as in, 대머리/'daemeoli', the Korean word for "bald") in its center, with the upper half of the orb being covered in black, which changes after its ability is used.

Ability[]

Its ability will trigger when a non-bald employee works with the Abnormality. At the end of the work, a flashing light will appear on the employee's head, making them bald. You're Bald will change its appearance, the black on its top half receeding like thinning hair, and start to move a bit more. If another non-bald employee enters its containment room and finishes a work, the same flashing light will now appear on the heads of every agent and clerk in the employee's department, making them all bald. You're Bald will now be completely white. If a third non-bald employee finishes a work with You're Bald, the screen flashes bright white, making every agent and clerk in the facility bald. After this, or at the end of a day, the Abnormality returns to its initial appearance.

Regardless of whether they were bald upon hiring or became bald as a result of this Abnormality's ability, bald employees have the maximum WorkSuccessIcon Success Rate (95%) when working on You're Bald. There are no added effects other than the change in appearance to employees.

Origin[]

Although the details are a bit unclear, we know with certainty that You're Bald appeared in the facility after an employee, who had an 'amazing dream' where all people became bald, had an "accident" involving the Singing Machine.

Details[]

You're Bald has no prefered InstinctInsightAttachmentRepression work type, only caring whether the employee performing the work is bald or not. For non-bald employees, all work types have a 'Very Low' success rate; for bald employees, all work types have the maximum possible success rate.

Like all Abnormalities, its energy output is determined by the number of PE Boxes (Positive Enkephalin boxes) at the end of the interaction.

You're Bald's emotional state is divided into 3 sections: BadResult Bad, NormalResult Normal, and GoodResult Good. Completing 0-1 E Boxes will cause it to feel BadResult Distressed, completing 2-3 will cause it to feel NormalResult Normal, and 4-6 will make it GoodResult Happy. Its usual cooldown timer after a task is around 10 seconds.

Unlockable Information/Upgrades[]

Basic Information (Cost: EBoxIcon 4 PE Boxes)

Unlocks and shows the name of the Abnormality, subject classification, Risk Level (Risk Zayin ZAYIN), portrait, Damage Type (BlackDamageTypeIcon Black 1-2), the amount of EBoxIcon E-Boxes (6), and its emotional states.

Instinct/Insight/Attachment/Repression Work Favor (Cost: EBoxIcon 2 PE Boxes)

Unlocks the percentage level list to the respective work.

Managerial Works 1/2/3 (Cost: EBoxIcon 2 PE Boxes)

  • "Managerial Tips 1"
    • "You still seem to be keeping your silky hair… You’ve been struck by the Bald-is-awesome! beam."
  • "Managerial Tips 2"
    • "If you don’t work now, every employee, including you, will lose all their hair and become bald within a month."
  • "Managerial Tips 3"
    • "It’s not too late. 30... 29... 28..."

Escape Information (Cost: EBoxIcon 4 PE Boxes)

Information if the Abnormality can escape or not: "Non Escaped Object"

Work Level 1 Chance Level 2 Chance Level 3 Chance Level 4 Chance Level 5 Chance
InstinctText
Instinct
"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

InsightText
Insight
"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

AttachmentText
Attachment
"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

RepressionText
Repression
"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)


Observation Level[]

Level 1 (1 Section unlocked): WorkSpeedIcon Speed Rate +5

Level 2 (2 Sections unlocked): WorkSuccessIcon Success Rate +5%

Level 3 (3 Sections unlocked): WorkSpeedIcon Speed Rate +5

Unlocks the E.G.O. Gift 'Tough'.

Level 4 (All details unlocked): WorkSuccessIcon Success Rate +5%

Unlocks the E.G.O. Weapon and Suit 'Tough'.

E.G.O. Equipment[]

E.G.O. Weapon Tough
EGOWeaponTough
Tough
Grade: Cost: Max Amount: Damage: Attack Speed: Range: Observation Level:
Risk Teth TETH EBoxIcon 15 3 WhiteDamageTypeIcon White
2-4
Very Fast Long 4
Requirements: Bald Agent
Special Information
Details Special Ability
"A glock reminiscent of a certain detective who fought evil for 25 years, losing hair as time went by.

Only those who maintain a clean “hairstyle” with no impurities on their head will be deemed worthy of equipping this weapon.

Perhaps it could even shoot down a helicopter, if used well."

"Only equippable by bald employees or those who have developed alopecia areata"
Notes

E.G.O. Suit Tough
EGOSuitTough
Tough
Grade: Cost: Max Amount: RedDamageTypeIcon RED Defense: WhiteDamageTypeIcon WHITE Defense: BlackDamageTypeIcon BLACK Defense: PaleDamageTypeIcon PALE Defense:
Risk Zayin ZAYIN EBoxIcon 10 5 1.0
Normal
1.0
Normal
0.8
Endured
2.0 Vulnerable
Observation Level: 4 Requirements: Bald Agent
Special Information
Details Special Ability
"A leather jacket with an unusually luxurious figure.

Only those who maintain a clean “hairstyle” with no impurities on their head will be deemed worthy of equipping this suit.

Anyone who wears this jacket is reminiscent of a certain detective who preferred fists over guns."

"Only equippable by bald employees or those who have developed alopecia areata"
Notes

E.G.O. Gift Tough
EGOGiftTough

Tough (Eye)

Effects: MovementSpeedIcon Movement Speed +2, Attack Speed +2

Drop Chance: 5%

Observation Level: 3

Story[]

You'reBaldPortrait

You're Bald's encyclopedia portrait

  • "Warning: You have been hit by the baldy-bald psychological attack. If a non-bald person reads this, they’ll be granted the privilege to go bald at an extremely rapid pace. If one wants to stop this from happening, they must be assigned to work on this Abnormality. In addition, if you find 10 or more strands of hair on your pillow in the morning, it is recommended to peruse this encyclopedia article at least three times."
  • "Bill: I had an amazing dream today!
  • Brian: What, did you win the lottery or something? 
  • Bill: When I got to work, everyone here was bald! Everyone including you! Maybe even people outside of this corporation! 
  • Brian: Umm… I think you’ve been pretty stressed lately. Why don’t you go take counseling? 
  • Employee Bill suffered an unfortunate accident with Singing Machine that day. Right after the incident, Abnormality Bald-is-awesome! appeared in the facility. We all cherish the memories of Bald Bill."
  • "If one comes in contact with the Abnormality, they will talk or write about the positive aspects of baldness for about an hour, and ultimately make themselves go bald.
  • If you become bald, you can save time because you don’t have to wash and dry your hair anymore, allowing you to be richer than others.
  • No adverse reactions will happen if a bald employee is assigned to work with the Abnormality.
  • The bald don’t have to worry about hair loss.
  • If a non-bald employee is assigned, they will shave off their own hair.
  • Bald people can even reflect light off their head and blind their opponents like a solar flare!
  • This Abnormality’s goal is to make every single human on Earth bald.
  • We won’t need light bulbs in our facility if there are more bald employees, because light reflects off their heads. This will allow us to save a tremendous amount of our budget.
  • If a non-bald employee is sent to work with the Abnormality, it’ll produce less energy. 
  • Did you know that every single noble in Europe during the Middle Ages was bald? They’d change their wig everyday!"
  • "We’ve just added some new rules to the company code of conduct:
  • + If you ever spot a XXX mocking their coworker with alopecia areata, they will be labeled as a hirsute, and will be banned from using the lounge for an indefinite period.
  • They will also be forbidden from joining the company’s debate club “Questioners of the absence of bald Barbies”, the gourmet meetup “Octopi over Squid”, and the environmental protection group “Save the Bald Eagles”. (These regulations will be lifted as soon as the rulebreaker’s hair strand count goes below 1.)
  • Lastly, I dedicate this article to employee T.H. who is quietly taking balding medicine next to me right now."

Flavour Text[]

  • "<name> is starting to feel that hair is just a burden."
  • "<name> is beginning to think that having a tattoo on a bald head would be super cool."
  • "<name> is taking off their wig because they feel proud of their partial balding."
  • "You can look just like Bruce Willis if you’re bald!"
  • "Somehow, bald people always look professional no matter what they’re doing!"
  • "If you’re bald, you never have to worry about clogging the drain!"
  • "So you still have your silky hair?"

Trivia[]

  • You're Bald could be considered a 'Joke' abnormality, due to its release date (April 3) being near April Fools' Day.
  • You're Bald is the only Abnormality without a proper Subject Number.
  • The letter on You're Bald is '머', which means '대머리', 'bald' written in Korean.
  • You're Bald is the only ZAYIN abnormality that deals BlackDamageTypeIcon Black damage.
  • You're Bald produces the least amount of E-Boxes, at only 6.
  • You're Bald's E.G.O. is a reference to Luke Hobbs from the Fast & Furious franchise
  • The Celebrity that You're Bald mentioned is Bruce Willis which is a reference to the American actor Bruce Willis

Gallery[]

ZAYIN Army In Black - Don't Touch Me - Fairy Festival - Mirror of Adjustment - Old Faith and Promise - One Sin and Hundreds of Good Deeds - Opened Can of Wellcheers - Plague Doctor - We Can Change Anything - You Must Be Happy - You're Bald...
TETH 1.76 MHz - Beauty and the Beast - Behavior Adjustment - Bloodbath - Crumbling Armor - Fragment of the Universe - Forsaken Murderer - Grave of Cherry Blossoms - Luminous Bracelet - Meat Lantern - Old Lady - Ppodae - Punishing Bird - Skin Prophecy - Scorched Girl - Spider Bud - The Heart of Aspiration - Theresia - Today's Shy Look - Standard Training-Dummy Rabbit (Tutorial Exclusive) - Void Dream - The Lady Facing the Wall
HE All-Around Helper - Child of the Galaxy - Der Freischütz - Funeral of the Dead Butterflies - Giant Tree Sap - Happy Teddy Bear - Laetitia - Nameless Fetus - Notes from a Crazed Researcher - Porccubus - Portrait of Another World - Red Shoes - Rudolta of the Sleigh - Scarecrow Searching for Wisdom - Schadenfreude - Shelter from the 27th of March - Singing Machine - The Snow Queen - Warm-Hearted Woodsman
WAW Alriune - Backward Clock - Big and Will be Bad Wolf - Big Bird - Clouded Monk - Dimensional Refraction Variant - Dream of a Black Swan - Express Train to Hell - Flesh Idol - Il Pianto della Luna - Judgement Bird - Little Red Riding Hooded Mercenary - Parasite Tree - Queen Bee - Snow White's Apple - The Burrowing Heaven - The Dreaming Current - The Firebird - The King of Greed - The Knight of Despair - The Little Prince - The Naked Nest - The Queen of Hatred - Yang - Yin
ALEPH Apocalypse Bird - Blue Star - CENSORED - Melting Love - Nothing There - The Mountain of Smiling Bodies - The Silent Orchestra - WhiteNight~(Apostles)
Notice About the Article "You're Bald...":
Are you looking for the old version of this page: You're Bald... (Legacy)
"You're Bald..." is using information from the Newest version of the game (v0.1). The information here is from a newer version of the game including the most recent gameplay changes.


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